Benjamin Joseph's Birth Story

Over the past few months, there was a lot of activity as far as my pregnancy went. I was having Braxton Hicks contractions almost non stop since about 35 weeks, which was too early for labor. We needed to make it to at least 38 weeks before we could have him at the birth center. Peggy and Kim, our midwives, had a few suggestions on how to slow down the contractions so I didn't end up in preterm labor, which really helped. We weren't sure if I was going to make it to 40 weeks, but as time went on, it was obvious he was going to be over due! Once I hit 40 weeks, I was trying everything to help him come! Evening primrose oil, birth prep herbs, clove tea, pregnancy tea, walking, bouncing on my ball, eating pineapple! Even eating pineapple, drinking tea, and bouncing on my ball all at once! But he still wanted to cook a little longer, which if that's what he needed, was ok. It was just really tiring being 40 weeks pregnant!

Around 10:00pm on Jan 16th, I woke up thinking maybe my water had broken. It was just a little bit, so I wasn't really sure, and decided to go back to bed and just see. An hour later, I woke up again, realizing that it was, for sure, my water. I woke Rich up to tell him so he could call out of work, and then called Peggy and Fern, our doula, to let them know what was going on. Peggy suggested that I try to go back to sleep and get some rest, since I had only slept an hour and I was going to need my energy. I honestly tried, but around 12:00 or so, I realized there was no way I was going to sleep. I woke Rich up again, and decided we needed to get all the last minute things together to take to the birth center. The contractions I was having were already really painful, and about 3 minutes apart and a minute long. At 1:00, I decided it was definitely time to call Peggy back and we decided to head to be at the birth center at 2:00am. I called Fern and she was going to meet us there.

During my pregnancy, we took a Bradley education class to help us with natural childbirth. It was to help Rich as a coach, and to teach a lot of relaxation techniques. Also, we learned about the process of labor. One of the things they teach you is that once you start feeling like you can't do it anymore, it usually means you're in transition phase, which is right before you need to start pushing. Well. I honestly felt like that the whole time. Rich was actually worried we weren't going to make it to the birth center in time by how the contractions were going before we even left. Boy, were we wrong!! Fern told us afterwards, that she's noticed some women who have harder labors, show signs of transition a lot earlier than when it's actually happening.

When we got to the birth center, they were setting up our beautiful room for us. I got checked and was 4cm dilated at that point. I really thought it was going to be more based on how I was feeling. Fern came soon after we arrived, followed by my mom and my sister. I decided to try laboring in the tub for a while, since it seemed to be the best way to help calm my nerves and contractions. It did help for a while, but it seemed to make them hurt a lot more in my back. After what I think was a few hours in the tub, we decided it was better to get out and walk around a little to help speed things up. I really didn't want to move. The contractions were so strong, I was afraid of having one in the middle of moving.

Everything after that is a bit of a blur. We tried a few different positions for laboring. First, lying on my side on the bed with pillows in between my legs, which seemed to make them hurt a lot more, so I got back up and tried sitting on the toilet. That was a little better with Rich rubbing my lower back with every contraction. I did get back in the tub at one point for a little while, but not for long. Everyone was encouraging me to drink as much water as I could, and even some apple cider, which was as far from what I felt like doing as anything. I knew I needed to, though. Unfortunately, when we got there, I had thrown up the toast I ate before we left. Then, I threw up the apple cider, and later on, threw up the honey they had given me. The efforts to give me more energy, unfortunately, weren't working very well since I couldn't keep anything down.

After a while, I really needed to lay down and possibly try and rest in between contractions. I had been nodding off in the tub, which wasn't very comfortable. Laying down still hurt, but at that point, it didn't hurt any more than any other position and I was able to doze off in between, if even for a minute. A little while later, I started getting an overwhelming urge to start pushing at the end of each contraction, which I couldn't control. Peggy checked me again and I was almost 10 cm, but with a lip of cervix still on one side and in the back. Fern suggested I lay on my right side and contract that way for a few contractions to try and get the lip to push back. It was so hard contracting and trying to push because it was very painful. It was a little better after a few contractions, but then it was time to try on my hands and knees to try and get rid of the other lip. Moving into each position was so difficult. I didn't think I could do it. Each time, I had to wait for the contraction to finish and then move quickly so I didn't have one in between.

After a few contractions in that position, it was definitely time to give it my all and start really pushing. They had me put on my hands and knees with one leg up on the bed. At this point, it was still painful, but it felt better. It wasn't my whole body anymore, and I knew our baby was almost here. I think I pushed for probably about 20 minutes total before he was born. It was a little hard to get his head out, but after that, he came out pretty quick. He didn't cry right away and was pretty blue, so I got really worried. Luckily, we were with midwives who trust birth and they handled it amazing. He had a heartbeat and was still breathing through the umbilical cord. Once they put him on my chest, he started pinking up and bawling his eyes out!! It was so amazing to see him for the first time!! I still can't believe that we made him and he was actually the one that was inside of me, kicking me for all those months.

 

We tried breastfeeding pretty quickly, but couldn't get him to latch. He had a lot of mucus in his mouth, so Peggy suggested suctioning out his mouth and throat. I thought he was going to be uncomfortable with it being done, but he instantly stopped crying and we had a better time getting him latched! The mucus must have really been bothering him. They did the newborn exam and everything looked great. He weighed 8lbs 12 oz, was 20.5 inches long, and born at 2:44pm. That was almost 17 hours of laboring! I really can't believe it was that long. By the end, I felt like I was in another world. I could barely open my eyes to even look at anyone. I am so proud of myself that I was able to stick with what I really wanted, even through the hardest experience I have ever had to go through, to give my baby the healthiest birthday he could have. I was so lucky to have so many people there to help me through. Rich was amazing. He never left my side, no matter how tired or hungry he was. I thought I was going to break his hand at the end, and he never even said anything!! My mom and my sister stuck through it as well, and I know they felt helpless not really being able to do anything, but it helped so much seeing them there and knowing they were there for me. Hiring Fern to be our doula was one of the best decisions we made! Even with everything we learned in our class, it was so helpful to have someone who really knows what they're doing to help out. It was also nice to have her there to give Rich a break when he needed it. Peggy, and her two student midwives, Katy and Joanne, were amazing. They had to check me so many times throughout the birth, and always waited till I was ready, and were always very accommodating.

Overall, it was an amazing experience. It was a lot harder and longer than I ever could have imagined, and I'm not sure there was anything I could have done to prepare better for it. But it was the best experience of my life and I wouldn't change a thing. I can't imagine having done it any other way, and we will definitely be doing it the same way next time! Now, we have our beautiful baby boy at home and life couldn't be better! =)